Inoperable ovarian carcinoma was diagnosed at age 28. Her gynaecologist told her that she would live four months without treatment, or two years with chemotherapy. She immediately replied, “That’s absurd, what nonsense!” She told us later: "At that moment I took a decision: I wanted to live; in a second. I saw death the way I had never seen it before and I got aware of life". She was jocular with the nurses, extroverted, angry at times, and free from depressed mood. Three days after this infaust prognosis was given, this picture was made in the hospital.
Geertje asked her friend to buy any book he could find on cancer that might be helpful. She tried chemotherapy for two days and decided not to continue. Her male friend then agreed to their living together. In the subsequent six years, her tumor became stable and regressed in the absence of treatment.
Follow-up
After a period of six years of spontaneous regression, the patient showed renewed progression of her tumor. During debulking surgery as much of the tumor was resected as possible; again, she abstained from chemotherapy. She remained in good health for a subsequent period of eleven years. Then a temporary increase of plasma level of the ovarian tumor marker, CA 125, occurred, followed by its normalization after a conflict with a girlfriend was solved. Two years later, ascites was diagnosed without a concomitant increase of CA 125 level. Cytologic examination of her ascites was graded Class V (confirmatory of carcinoma). It was treated with chemotherapy. She moved from Rotterdam to Ireland, as she desired to live in a coastal countryside. She further improved and returned one year later. Subsequently her father died. Meanwhile, an abdominal mass had been seen, which remained stable. One year later the patient’s relationship with her mother had deteriorated. The abdominal mass had increased in size and was removed surgically. Again, she was in good health, for several years.
Then she had an abdominal recurrence. Operative debulking was complicated by intestinal perforation. The perforation was closed surgically. Another perforation followed, as did surgery. After this second operation the patient got worried. She was unhappy, laying in the midst of older people and noises, while visit could only come after 5 PM. All night long she kept thinking how to change her situation. She decided to ask a friend to come and to stay with her as much as possible. When she asked a nurse to make further arrangements, the nurse objected. Geertje however, ordered her to do as she asked ('This is your job!'). The nurse arranged for a private room and possibilities for extensive visits of friends. Geertje: "It was lovely that they were with me, lovely". A third and a fourth perforation were diagnosed and corrected. A fifth perforation was diagnosed and the surgeon told her that he considered her to be inoperable. Asked what would happen, he said that he expected her to die within a week. Yet, she remained hopeful: shortly before the third or the fourth operative correction of the intestinal perforation -and after she had arranged her social support- she had had an unusual "experience". In this experience she had entered a gold-lighted surgical room, with "nurses that were the most beautiful women in the world'. Here, in her experience, an old woman had done a meditation with her and had told her that she would be allright.
Instead of dying, Geertje improved again. After the debulking sugery her tumormarker had lowered. One year later, however, her tumormarker had increased; three courses of Taxol were given without effect. More than two years after the perforations, Geertje called me and she told that she felt that this time it would really be the end. She illustrated her sensing wit the bibleverse, where Jesus says that he knows that 'the hour has come'. It came some months later. She died, aged 54, having lived since the original diagnosis nearly as long as before.
During one of our conversations, many years ago, she said she felt like she was fourteen years old. Only later, I noticed that she expressed this experience fourteen years after the initial diagnosis. Marco de Vries, referring to her out of body experiences, mentioned as her life theme "The courage to be here"; in the here and now of human existence and experience, with all it's complications and problems as well. She then started to cry.
In one of our final conversations, I told her that it is difficult to translate her experiences into therapeutic work. She almost got angry and said that it was "not difficult al all (--) it is so natural". She mentioned the story of a Maroccan king. Somewhere in his palace he had a room that he never had visited. The lock in the door seemed very complex and the best craftsmen came from all over the country. The lock looked so difficult, that they did not even try to work on it. Then, an ordinary man came by and pushed against the door. It opened. The door hadn't been locked at all.
And, about the desire to live: "If it gets a chance, it wil emerge".
After a period of six years of spontaneous regression, the patient showed renewed progression of her tumor. During debulking surgery as much of the tumor was resected as possible; again, she abstained from chemotherapy. She remained in good health for a subsequent period of eleven years. Then a temporary increase of plasma level of the ovarian tumor marker, CA 125, occurred, followed by its normalization after a conflict with a girlfriend was solved. Two years later, ascites was diagnosed without a concomitant increase of CA 125 level. Cytologic examination of her ascites was graded Class V (confirmatory of carcinoma). It was treated with chemotherapy. She moved from Rotterdam to Ireland, as she desired to live in a coastal countryside. She further improved and returned one year later. Subsequently her father died. Meanwhile, an abdominal mass had been seen, which remained stable. One year later the patient’s relationship with her mother had deteriorated. The abdominal mass had increased in size and was removed surgically. Again, she was in good health, for several years.
Then she had an abdominal recurrence. Operative debulking was complicated by intestinal perforation. The perforation was closed surgically. Another perforation followed, as did surgery. After this second operation the patient got worried. She was unhappy, laying in the midst of older people and noises, while visit could only come after 5 PM. All night long she kept thinking how to change her situation. She decided to ask a friend to come and to stay with her as much as possible. When she asked a nurse to make further arrangements, the nurse objected. Geertje however, ordered her to do as she asked ('This is your job!'). The nurse arranged for a private room and possibilities for extensive visits of friends. Geertje: "It was lovely that they were with me, lovely". A third and a fourth perforation were diagnosed and corrected. A fifth perforation was diagnosed and the surgeon told her that he considered her to be inoperable. Asked what would happen, he said that he expected her to die within a week. Yet, she remained hopeful: shortly before the third or the fourth operative correction of the intestinal perforation -and after she had arranged her social support- she had had an unusual "experience". In this experience she had entered a gold-lighted surgical room, with "nurses that were the most beautiful women in the world'. Here, in her experience, an old woman had done a meditation with her and had told her that she would be allright.
Instead of dying, Geertje improved again. After the debulking sugery her tumormarker had lowered. One year later, however, her tumormarker had increased; three courses of Taxol were given without effect. More than two years after the perforations, Geertje called me and she told that she felt that this time it would really be the end. She illustrated her sensing wit the bibleverse, where Jesus says that he knows that 'the hour has come'. It came some months later. She died, aged 54, having lived since the original diagnosis nearly as long as before.
During one of our conversations, many years ago, she said she felt like she was fourteen years old. Only later, I noticed that she expressed this experience fourteen years after the initial diagnosis. Marco de Vries, referring to her out of body experiences, mentioned as her life theme "The courage to be here"; in the here and now of human existence and experience, with all it's complications and problems as well. She then started to cry.
In one of our final conversations, I told her that it is difficult to translate her experiences into therapeutic work. She almost got angry and said that it was "not difficult al all (--) it is so natural". She mentioned the story of a Maroccan king. Somewhere in his palace he had a room that he never had visited. The lock in the door seemed very complex and the best craftsmen came from all over the country. The lock looked so difficult, that they did not even try to work on it. Then, an ordinary man came by and pushed against the door. It opened. The door hadn't been locked at all.
And, about the desire to live: "If it gets a chance, it wil emerge".
